Mom, what are you doing?
You're going to catch your death.
Come on inside.
Mr. Sullivan?
Mr. Sullivan!
God just took out Mrs. Gruper's birdbath.
He's getting closer, Clive.
Last year, it was streetlight at the end of the block.
Now it's Mrs. Gruper's birdbath.
I think God's zeroing in on me.
I have the feeling this is the year he lowers the boom.
Still alive in there, old lady?
Didn't die in your sleep, did you?
Not yet.
Well, you're talking to yourself,
so it can't be too long.
As a matter of fact, I wasn't talking to myself.
I was talking to Clive Sr.
Good. For a while there,
I thought you were going batty on me.
Can I interest you in a cup of tea?
No.
Not now, not ever.
Why are you wearing a necktie?
You're not in trouble
with the police again, are you?
Not unless you blew the whistle on all my parking tickets.
I should.
There's probably a reward.
Before they do throw you in the hoosegow,
would you mind fixing the porch railing?
It's been broken for a month.
Sure thing, old girl.
Just don't forget.
Do I ever?
Yes.
Well, I won't this time.
So, what's The Bank been up to lately?
I wish you wouldn't call him that.
Is Clive Jr. Springing for Thanksgiving dinner?
Yes. As a matter of fact,
my son is taking me to the country club.
Uh-huh.
We wear the chains we forge in life.
I don't suppose
you remember who said that.
You did, Miss Beryl.
All through eighth grade.
Hey, dummy.
Don't you have enough sense to come inside
where it's warm?
You know what I always wish?
I wish I had me enough money for a warm coat.
You know what else I wish?
No, what else do you wish?
I wish we'd go back to working together like we used to.
I hear Carl Roebuck has this big Victorian...
Oh, no.
Well, he's redoing it.
Nah, forget it.
Six months work, all indoors.
Told you I'm not working for him again.
Besides, my lawyer says when I get out of court today,
I'm going to be a rich man.
Uh...
in that case, can I borrow ten dollars?
Rub...
there are women in this town that I could hang out with
that would be cheaper than you.
Yeah, but they wouldn't be your friend.
Well, here we are again, Mr. Wirfley.
The question is, why?
Your Honor, we would like to document for the court
the deterioration of my client's knee,
resulting from an injury he sustained
while in the employ of the Tip Top Construction Company.
I have here countless documents from reputable doctors
who have...
I had them here someplace, uh...
- Mr. Wirfley... - With your patience...
Uh, Mr. Wirfley...
Your Honor?
You have failed on numerous occasions to demonstrate
that the injury in question was a result of negligence
on the part of the employer.
The court finds for the Tip Top Construction Company
and against Mr. Sullivan.
Sully... Sully?
I should've known better than to hire a one-legged lawyer.
Well, you can't afford a two-legged lawyer.
Don't get discouraged, okay?
It's a temporary setback... that's all.
You've got to remember our strategy.
Strategy? That's the first I ever heard of any strategy.
Sooner or later, we'll wear the bastards down.
The court is already starting
to get pissed.
You heard the judge.
He's pissed at you, Wirf.
Only because he knows I won't go away.
I know how he feels.
He called in sick,
he's on the phone, he's in the Bahamas...
Take your pick... he doesn't want to see you.
The Bahamas sound swell.
Ruby, grab his checkbook.
We'll take off.
There's about 1,000 other guys
I would take with me before you.
Thanks, honey.
I heard the judge threw you and that two-bit lawsuit
out of court.
Hope you didn't have to pay him more than you owed me.
Aw, Sully, don't be bitter.
America's a great place.
Where else could a cripple
and a drunk, one-legged lawyer even get to talk to a judge?
Good news is I got a job even you can't screw up.
I told you I'm not working for you
till you pay me what you owe me.
Forget about it. You were working off the books, okay?
You don't hire anybody unless they work off the books.
And you won't work
except off the books, Sully.
Think you got a right to steal from anybody
that's got a couple bucks in their pocket?
Huh? I'm supposed to assume
the position just 'cause you got a bum knee and no prospects?
Bullshit.
Besides, you did shoddy work, okay.
- You think I got where I got... - What?
by doing shoddy work?
No.
You didn't get where you are by doing shoddy work.
You didn't get where you are by doing any work.
You got where you are because your daddy gave it to you,
and he drove himself into an early grave so you could
piss it away on ski trips and sports cars.
I haven't been skiing in two years, Sully.
Hey, look, personally, I don't give a goddamn whether
you go broke, which you probably will, but before you do,
you're going to pay me what you owe me.
I'm not going to pay you.
I don't owe you a goddamn cent.
I'm going to come through that goddamn door,
I'm going to grab you
by your pin head,
and I'm going to throw you out the window.
Five... four...
three... two... one.
What kind of work?
Ooh...
Oh.
Shit.
Dad?
Peter?
You need a lift?
All right.
Well, been a while.
Three years.
Weren't you supposed to be working at teaching...
what's that school?
University of West Virginia.
Oh, yeah.
What brings you guys this far north?
Vera.
Welcome to the Thanksgiving from hell.
Goddamn it, Charlotte,
if we're going to start the weekend like this...
Oh, Vera... how is she, anyway?
I don't think I've seen her
since the last time you guys were up here.
Well, now,
how can you live in a town this size
and not see your ex-wife all the time?
That's easy, darling.
Peter's mom and I don't exactly travel in the same circles.
As a matter of fact,
Vera pretty much travels in a straight line.
Somebody in this family had to.
Who are you?
He's your grandfather.
Does he always look like that?
Yeah, most of the time.
How come they call you "Wacker"?
Wacker!
I didn't do anything.
You okay?
He hit him.
- Stop the car. - You what?
I did not.
- What happened? - Did so.
Stop before I throw that little
son of a bitch out.
Sweetie...
Go get your dad and see if he's okay.
Would somebody tell me what's going on?
What do you think, Peter?
Go get your dad.
All right, all right.
I'm going, okay.
Why are you always hitting?
What the hell happened, Dad?
What's the matter?
Jesus Christ.
Wacker did that?
Oh, don't be a jerk.
I fell off a scaffold about six months ago.
Have you seen a doctor?
Yeah, saw about 20 of them.
What'd they say?
About 20 different things.
Well, thanks for the lift.
Look, get back in the car.
I-I'll take you wherever you want to go.
Oh, no.
See you around.
You sure you're okay?
Oh, I'm good, I'm good.
Don't worry about it.
Hey, listen...
why don't you stop by Mom's tomorrow?
Huh? Better ask Vera about that.
I don't have to ask permission
to invite my own father to Thanksgiving dinner.
I'll think about it.
Hey.
Yeah?
You ain't naked or anything, are you?
No, but I can be in about two seconds.
Eh, take your time.
I need a cup of coffee.
East Towing? Sullivan.
Yeah, uh, I'm just around the corner:
313 Harmon.
Pick me up.
Hey... charge it.
Tip Top Construction Company.
Bye.
Horace?
Hi, Sully. I ain't naked either.
Oh, thank God for that.
Lord, how does a man get that dirty?
Working for your husband.
I thought you were never going to work for Carl again.
Aw, it's just temporary.
Here's your keys.
I wish I hadn't of let you talk me into doing this.
Oh, well. I'd cash it as quickly as possible.
Thanks, Mr. Yancy.
Hey, while you got your checkbook out,
why don't you pay me what your husband owes me?
Dummy and I ironed the whole thing out
down at the office, but all he had
was a company checkbook, see? So he, um...
Nice try, Sully.
He does owe me.
Well, get in line.
He owes everybody.
You take a big pile of money, and you go have a heart bypass...
see how much money you have left after that.
What's going on?
Changed the locks, and throwing out his clothes.
As far as I'm concerned, he no longer lives here.
It's a bold move.
Won't work.
It might get his attention.
Well, maybe it will, and maybe it won't.
You know... when my trifecta comes in,
why don't you dump what's-his-name
and run away with me?
Where would we go?
Hawaii. Someplace where it's warm.
You know, where they got umbrellas in the drinks.
Where they rub you with coconut oil.
Got to go.
Hang in there.
Hang in there?
That's it? That's the sum of your wisdom on the subject?
It's the sum of my wisdom on most subjects.
Hey, there you are.
Where the hell have you been?
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Well, you should have given up.
Aces over.
Three tens.
Phooey!
Deal me in.
I sure do like a woman whose love ain't for sale.
Screw you, Sully.
Got to go tinkle.
Mm-hmm.
Ruby?
What now?
Don't take your love to town.
Ruby...
Don't take your love to town.
For God's sakes, turn around.
Have a little respect, fellas.
Look, I know
we didn't do so good today, but, uh...
there's a zillion things we can try.
Nope.
When was the last time you won a case, Wirf?
What's that got to do with anything?
Cut.
Gray river
around a green monkey's ass.
You know, Sully, you're the only guy I know
still dumb enough to believe in luck.
I used to believe in brains and hard work till I met you.
Deal.
Seven card.
Which one of your fancy doctors advised you
to drink, smoke and screw your brains out?
Those are unreasonable requests, Sully.
They wouldn't have made them if they didn't know me.
If they had known you, they wouldn't have fixed you.
King bets.
Last call.
You want to Sheetrock one of them houses for me
over on Nelson tomorrow?
Hey, I thought you said
you were never going to work for Carl again.
Shut up, Rub.
Sheetrock is a two-man job.
What about it, rubber head?
Tomorrow's Thanksgiving.
I won't work on Thanksgiving.
Sure, you will.
Hmm...
Double time.
In your dreams.
Oh, Sheetrock the son of a bitch yourself.
Why should I pay you double time, Sully?
Hey, what's tomorrow, Rub?
It's fucking Thanksgiving.
Know what burns my ass, Sully?
You wouldn't even know it was Thanksgiving
if it wasn't for Rub.
Know enough to know that it's double time. Five.
Know what Thanksgiving is?
Down and dirty.
Thanksgiving is a time for normal people, Sully,
to do normal things... to be in the bosom
of their family.
And that, my friend, is not you.
It's still going to be double time.
Yeah. Sheetrock
the son of a bitch yourself.
Bet's to you, Jocko.
Ten.
Well, I'm out.
What's wrong with you?
I'm trying to communicate with you telepathically.
Forget about it.
Only way to communicate with Sully
is to whack him in the head with a shovel.
It's your bet, genius.
15.
Call.
Eights full.
All the nines.
Jesus H. Christ.
I was trying to tell you to fold.
Cash me in, Jocko. You know, Rub,
I think your supervisor here
is in for a little rude awakening.
Tomorrow morning, about 7:00 a.m.,
he's going to be out there
shoveling old Miss Beryl's driveway,
ten below, fingers freezing.
Then, all of a sudden, it's going to occur to him,
"Hey, I could be indoors
"working where it's nice and warm...
"working with my old buddy Rub.
"I know what I'll do... call my good friend,
"Honest Carl Roebuck... take him up on that
"Sheetrocking job he offered me...
maybe earn back some of my money I lost playing cards."
But you know what?
By tomorrow...
it's going to be too fucking late.
Think about it, schmucko.
That you, Sully?
Yeah.
Did you come to steal our new snowblower?
I've done it already, just about.
I could legally shoot you, and get away with it.
Not unless I'm breaking and entering.
Are you going to break and enter?
So, what's happening with Dummy?
I don't know.
He took my threat to shoot him
a lot more seriously than you just did.
The poor guy
just had a bypass.
Maybe he's trying
to cram everything he can do into six months.
When he realizes he's going to live until he's 70,
he'll slow down.
If I had my way, he wouldn't live till Thanksgiving.
Go ahead... steal our snowblower.
You're the slowest goddamn thief I ever saw.
Sully, give me a light.
Huh?
Give me a light.
Go home, you jerk.
You're married to the best- looking woman in Bath.
Who was it said, "A man's reach should exceed his grasp"?
And tell her you love her, huh?
Or else I will.
God, Sully...
I sure hope I don't end up like you.
I hope you don't either.
60 years old, and still getting crushes
on other men's wives.
I would hope, by the time I'm your age,
I'm a little smarter than that.
Can't hurt to hope.
You sure are off to a slow start.
You know, I got one just like that.
Identical.
Does this mean
you're finally going to get around
to fixing my porch railing?
I'll do it today, I promise.
Do you mind my asking what you are doing?
I'm keeping the guy that I stole this from
from stealing it back.
Donald,
does it ever bother you
that you haven't done more with the life God gave you?
Not often.
Now and then.
And it's not just the theme park...
it's all the businesses that go along with it.
How are you?
Hotels, restaurants, gas stations.
- Happy Thanksgiving. - Do you people have any idea
what property values are going to go to around here?
Why, just this morning,
Mr. Lomax and I were talking on the phone, and he said...
Well, C.W., do you mind
telling these people what you told me?
The fact is, Clive Jr., we're talking
about an initial investment of 100 million.
Oh, Joe.
That's just for starters.
Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
I think they want us to go up.
Mother?
Oh, yes, I will say
that I certainly have appreciated your hospitality.
Clive has been just wonderful through all of this.
I couldn't have done any of it without him.
You must be very proud of your son.
Actually, he's not really my son.
They switched bassinets in the hospital.
It's a long story, Clive.
She's just kidding.
So now, the Dolphins will set up to kick.
Dallas, back deep to return
for the Cowboys... Williams and...
Want some help?
No.
Mom...
uh...
Charlotte wants us to leave in the morning.
It's just it's...
We're not doing too well.
Being here makes it worse.
You know who I blame for this?
Donald Sullivan.
Mom...
There was a show on Oprah the other day
about men who can't face responsibility.
About how they had destroyed their children's lives.
I promise you, it fit Donald Sullivan to a T.
There's one thing Oprah understands.
It's men.
What's that truck doing out there?
Dad!
Hey, how are you?
I'm sorry I'm late.
I just got here.
Shit.
Ten. He's going to dive to the goal.
Touchdown... Miami!
Sully, is that you?
Hey.
What a surprise.
Vera will be tickled pink to see you.
Your mother doesn't know I'm coming?
I didn't think you'd really show up.
Vera, guess who's here.
I'll be right there.
What's taking you so long?
I have to pee.
Out of the way, doofus.
Wacker!
Wacker, I'm warning you.
Uh... listen, uh... I forgot something in the garage.
Yeah. I... I'd better check on Charlotte.
The snap is high, the kick is up, it's good!
I really mean it this time, Wacker.
Sully.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Mommy!
Wacker, no. Um... Wacker... no, uh...!
Hey, come out of there now, Will.
What are you doing here?
Open the door right now!
- I mean it. - What's the matter, sweetie?
What happened? Oh, what did you do to him?
What did I do to him? What did he do to me?
What did he do to my mother's china?
Charlotte, for God's sake!
Don't "For God's sake,
Charlotte" me! What did you do to him?
I beg your pardon.
This is all your fault.
All right, Will,
I'm going to count to ten.
three...
What's the matter now, Raymer?
Broken tail light. This is the third time.
One more time, Sully, and I'm impounding this heap of yours.
Jesus Christ.
Raymer, it's Thanksgiving.
Yeah, well, if you'd fixed it
the first time, this wouldn't happen.
That's $15.
You can mail it in or you can come by the station.
If it's not paid within 30 days, you'll be held in contempt.
Boy, I hope you get laid sometime soon.
You know, someday, smartass, I'm going to nail you...
when you least expect it.
You okay?
Uh...
Will.
Yeah, Will.
Is he dead?
Who?
Wacker.
No, but he's pretty bent out of shape.
You better come and sit up front with me.
Come on. There you go. Yeah.
Hello.
Missing anybody?
Oh, thank God. Where are you?
Cozy Corner.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Thank you.
You and Wacker fight all the time?
Sometimes.
At least you got even. That's something.
When Mom and Dad get divorced...
Divorced?
When Mom and Dad get divorced,
I'm going to go and live with my dad,
and Wacker will go and live with Mom.
She'll find out how really bad Wacker is.
Yeah?
And when Mom and Dad get back together,
everything will be different.
We'll live in a house instead of an apartment,
and I'll have my own room,
and Wacker won't be able to play with my toys
unless I say so.
And Mom and Dad won't argue anymore,
or fight about money or anything.
Hey, pal.
Hi, Dad.
Thanks for calling.
The, uh... situation
at the house has just gone ballistic.
What's with you and Charlotte?
Sometimes I think you did the smart thing...
just running away.
I only got about five blocks.
Well, you might as well have gone to the moon.
You trying to get me to say I'm sorry?
No. I know better than that.
Come on, pal.
Let's go.
Tell me something.
Do you ever even think about me?
I guess, sometimes. Yeah.
Well, I thought about you all the time.
Hiya!
Hi.
Come on in, Sully.
Come on. Take a load off.
This is men's night at Casa Roebuck.
We're drinking from the bottle.
Where's Dummy?
Where's Ruby?
Why does he do it?
Well, he's not in love with her, if that's what you mean.
Hey, I don't know the reason
why I do half the things that I do,
let alone your dimwit husband.
Well, did you ever get so mad
that you wanted to shoot somebody?
That's why I don't carry a gun.
Well, maybe we should go out
and buy a couple of.357 Magnums and rob banks...
like Bonnie and Clyde.
Just you and me.
Well, you'd have to be Clyde.
I'm too tired.
You always cheer me up.
I think it's because you're the only person I know
who's worse off than me.
Nah. It's because... deep down, secretly...
you're in love with me.
Really?
You betcha.
I guess we'll never know.
Not at the rate we're going.
Well, if you're not in love with me, I'm going home.
Oh, where did numbnuts hide the snowblower?
Over at the Tip Top.
Huh. I'll steal it back again tomorrow...
or the next day.
Watch out
for that mean-ass dog.
Not worried about the dog.
I'm worried about whether I can get over that fence
with one leg.
Oh, you're a man among men, Sully.
Well, thanks.
That wasn't a compliment.
I know you don't like the idea,
but you should sell this place
and let me invest the money
in real estate out by the theme park.
There's big money headed this way.
Serious money.
This could be the new Gold Coast.
You're right...
I don't like the idea.
Besides, I can't sell this place.
I have a tenant.
That's another thing.
Sully has to go.
I was up there last night.
You should see that place for yourself...
countless cigarette burns.
This house could go up in flames any minute.
Clive, you know Mr. Sullivan
does not like you snooping around.
I wasn't snooping around.
I was just looking after my mother's interest,
which is more than she'll do for herself.
I mean, keeping this house is
lunatic enough without having a pyromaniac for a tenant.
Why is it that everyone in town can see through him except you?
Oh, dear God in heaven.
Mr. Sullivan! Mr. Sullivan!
Mother, what is it?
What's the matter?
Mr. Sullivan, come quickly!
It's Miss Hattie!
Mother, I'll take care of it.
Thank heavens
you're still here.
Hattie's escaped again.
Stay put. I'll get her.
Hurry. She's in the middle of the street.
Hurry is not what I do best.
I'm looking for my muffler.
Is that The Bank?
Tell him he's in trouble.
Hurry.
I am hurrying.
It just looks like slow motion.
No driving on the sidewalk.
Hi, good-looking.
You running away from home?
Where you headed?
To my sister's in Albany.
Ah. Let me give you a lift.
I think you'll get there quicker.
Okay.
Listen, what say you and me go dancing some night?
Dancing?
Yeah. Just you and me.
Hey, Sully.
Hi, Jake.
How you doing, Sully?
There you go, safe and sound.
Oh, God.
Oh, Ma.
What gets into you?
Thanks, Sully.
Yeah.
Just take care of things, okay,
while I look after Mom.
Well, Rufus,
I guess it's just you and me.
Here... these go to Jocko. He takes ketchup.
I don't get time for a cup of coffee?
Sully.
Give these to Jocko in the second booth.
I want to talk to you.
Hey.
I could've...
Takes ketchup.
I could've handled that business.
I didn't need
your interference.
How was your Thanksgiving, Clive?
You have a nice day?
What'd you do?
Uh... nothing, nothing much.
I, uh... just had dinner with my mother.
Nothing much, huh?
I thought maybe you were someplace
you shouldn't have been.
We've been through this before.
A landlord has...
You are not my landlord.
My mother is your...
Is the only reason I don't kick your ass.
You don't get out of here right now,
I may change my mind.
Hey, the ketchup stays here.
Judge Wapner's verdict is coming right up.
First of all, I'm certainly sorry that the bird died...
there's no question about that.
We... sympathy is with you, but we don't decide cases
on the basis of sympathy.
Hey, Birdy, you got any aspirin?
Is it your knee?
Yeah, thought it was getting better.
Uh... that accident caused the trauma to the knee.
That's arthritis.
Arthritis doesn't get better.
Gets worse.
Here...
Eat these... You'll feel better.
Thanks.
Didn't know pharmacists made house calls.
How much do I owe you?
Nada. They're samples.
Well, if you're really getting a guarantee,
then it should be in writing.
Okay, shyster, who do you like?
The plaintiff.
It's a lock.
I'll take your defendant.
You weren't even here for the stories.
Yeah, but I know my lawyer.
Turn it up.
he'd either have to be foolhardy
or stupid to say, "I'm going to guarantee you a healthy bird."
Judgment is for the defendant.
You know, you're my only consistent source of income.
I don't know why I even come in here.
To be among friends?
That must be it.
All you people ought to treat me better.
When I'm gone, you'll discover how hard it is
to find a one-legged lawyer who's always in a good mood.
Well...
Vaya con huevos, amigos.
"Go with eggs"?
Peter!
Oh, hi.
What's going on?
I don't know.
Where do you want to start?
Wife and I had a major shoot-out last night.
She left... took Wacker with her.
So where's Will?
He's staying with me.
Anyway, I ought to be going.
Hey, you busy right now?
Me?
Uh... well...
fact of the matter is, Mom has a headache,
and I promised her I'd get her some aspirin.
Just the guy I'm looking for. Come on.
Yeah, but I...
Come on.
Haven't got all night.
You want some buns?
Dogs don't eat buns.
Buying ground beef for your dog?
I don't have a dog.
Don't seem to care about that too much.
Anyway...
You know, she's been threatening to leave for months.
Thing is...
I never should've made her come up for Thanksgiving,
'cause Mom is the one person in this world
she dislikes more than me.
Jesus Christ, man!
Yeah, that's okay.
Here, hold this.
God.
What's that?
One...
What's going on?
Two...
Think it's enough?
What are you doing, Dad?
I think you're right.
I think we need one more.
Dad.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, Bowzer.
Look at that.
Come on.
Room service.
Yeah... yeah, yeah. Come on.
There you go.
Oh, God.
I don't believe this.
I'm a member of Greenpeace,
and I just helped poison a dog.
Well, for one thing, it ain't poison.
For another, you didn't help much.
That part comes later.
You had any supper?
No.
Well, come on. I'll buy you a hamburger.
Hey, if it's not too much trouble,
would you mind telling me what the hell is going on?
Uh, later, maybe.
I'm not sure this is a good idea.
Don't worry about it.
Uh... I don't know.
He could be waiting to pounce.
Nah, he's all pounced out.
Well, maybe it's a trick.
Ain't the smartest dog in the world, you know.
Yeah, just the meanest.
Watch.
See?
Looks like a good place. Come on.
Tell me again this is your own snowblower we're stealing.
I knew your mother was gonna raise you like this. Get going.
Well, what if somebody comes by and sees me up...
Hey, hey, hey, climb, will you?
I'm not getting any younger.
All right.
Don't get stuck.
Don't get stuck? That's it?
My father walks out on his family when I'm a year old
and all my life I've been waiting
for him to show up and act like a father.
So here I am, finally with my dad, together at last...
Quality time... right?
And what are we doing?
Breaking and entering.
And what are his words of wisdom?
"Don't get stuck."
Ooh.
You okay?
Yeah.
All right, here.
Watch it.
Try not to cut your arm off.
Dad?
Don't move.
You were right.
That third pill was the winner.
Wow. I mean, wow, that was...
You know, when I... when I saw that dog, I thought...
I've never done anything like that before.
You know what Mom's worst fear is?
That your life has been fun.
Tell her not to worry.
I want to show you something.
Hey, we're not going to break into this place, too, are we?
Nah... I got the key to this one.
Or I used to.
You own this place?
City probably owns most of it now in back taxes.
I grew up here.
It was my father's house.
As far as I'm concerned, it can rot.
He was some piece of work... your grandfather.
That good, huh?
Yeah, he was... he was good,
when he was sober, but then,
I don't think anybody ever saw him sober.
Your grandmother took the worst of it.
She was just a...
tiny, little woman, and...
my God, he could make her fly.
One minute, she'd be standing... over there,
and the next minute, she'd be...
on the opposite side of the room,
just sitting on the floor.
I made the mistake once of trying to get in between them.
I don't know... I was 12 or something, and... and, um...
he didn't much care for that.
He...
I had thought he was going to kill me.
Jesus Christ.
Well, anyway, fuck him eternally.
I suppose you're going to be saying the same thing about me
when I'm gone.
You were gone, Dad.
I already said it.
Well, you sure did get over that fence pretty good
for a college professor.
Yeah, well...
I'm not a college professor anymore.
I was, uh...
I got fired.
It's no big deal.
University cut back the English Department.
Trouble is, it's just hard as hell
getting a job teaching these days, you know?
I've been looking, and...
schools aren't hiring right now.
Anyway, I didn't mean to go on about it.
I'll figure something out.
I don't suppose you'd be interested
in coming to work for me?
Ah, yeah,
that'd be dumb.
I couldn't pay you very much.
Minimum wage?
Well, I could do better than that.
That's fine.
Sure, yeah, that-that, that's fine.
Sure you know how to do this kind of work?
How do you think I put myself through college?
Peter?
Hi, Pop.
Is that your dad with you?
Hey, Ralph.
What's that?
That's a brand-new snowblower.
Thought you might be able to use it.
I don't know, Sully.
I can't afford something like that.
I don't see why not... didn't cost me anything.
Yeah, that's true.
Just as long as I can come back and borrow it
every once in a while...
especially if it keeps on like this.
No problem.
Yeah, Pop,
I think the best thing
would be to keep it in the garage.
Under a tarp.
Right.
Sure thing.
This is really awfully good of you, Sully.
Don't mention it.
I'll leave the door open for you, Peter.
Thanks, Pop.
Oh, damn, I forgot the aspirin for Mom.
Well...
why don't you give her one of these?
Oh, I don't know, that's...
Don't worry.
She'll thank you for it.
Listen, tonight was pretty, uh...
Yeah.
Can I borrow a dollar?
Nope.
You can borrow a jelly donut, though.
You can't borrow a jelly donut.
Once you eat it, it's gone.
Once you borrow a dollar, it's gone.
I'd rather buy you a jelly donut.
Morning, Dad.
Hey, bro, how you doing? Morning, Cass.
Hey, you wouldn't have
another one of those for Will, would you?
Sorry, Peter... that's the last one.
Huh. You don't mind, do you, Sancho?
Hey, did you see...?
It's okay. You bringing the kid to work today?
Yeah. Mom had to take Ralph to the doctor.
Don't worry. He won't be any trouble.
Not the point.
Dumb... what if he gets hurt?
How?
He could fall in a ditch.
He could run into a nail. I don't know.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
You mean, I worry about him, and I never worried about you?
Well, you skipped a generation, didn't you?
Okay.
Why don't you guys get going?
I got some stuff to do in town.
I could take Will with me.
That okay with you?
You stay with your granddad?
All right. Great.
Come on, Sancho, let's go to work.
How come I got to go to work with him?
'Cause I say so.
Well, why are you so nice to him?
He doesn't even like you.
I know...
but I'm growing on him.
Come on, hot shot.
You want to drive?
Come on over... come on, scoot over.
There you go.
Just be careful of my bum leg, okay?
Ah...
There you go.
Put your hands on the wheel right up here.
There you go.
Got it? Huh?
Yeah.
All right.
See how it goes there?
Okay, you're on your own, kid.
Ooh, there, whoa...
ho-ho-ho.
There you go. Back... there you go.
There you go.
It's jiggling.
No, it's not jiggling... it's wobbling.
That's what old trucks do,
they wobble.
I like it. It's a nice truck.
Yeah, it is.
It is kind of a nice truck, isn't it?
An invoice...
from how long ago?
No, there's no sign of it, Leon. Mm-mmm.
Sorry.
I'll keep looking...
but no promises, okay?
Okay. Bye.
So, what's going on?
Where's Ruby?
Alas, Ruby is no more.
She left behind a few tokens of her affection.
Want a souvenir?
No, I don't think so.
So, where's Dummy?
He's out at the annex.
He says that he's turned over a new leaf.
He says that he's a changed man.
No kidding.
Who's this?
Mmm?
That's Will. He's, um...
Hmm?
Well, he's my... um...
he's just kind of shy,
you know, so I don't...
Annex, huh?
Yeah.
You know, when Ruby was here,
she used to wear a see-through blouse,
so if you just want to keep up with it...
Okay.
What's the matter, Grandpa?
I'll see you.
Say hello to Will here.
Hey, Will.
The only thing I have is from 1992,
and it says right on this... "Not an..."
It says, "Not an invoice,"
and I'm not going to pay it, all right?
What?
You get it figured out and get back to me, all right?
Hey, Don Sullivan... thief of snowblowers,
poisoner of dogs, secret father and grandfather.
How they hanging?
By a thread, as usual.
Want to sit over here?
Just don't mess things up.
Your grandpa tell you
how he steals people's snowblowers?
You ought to feel sorry for a guy like that.
You know, he can't keep track of his toy.
That's funny how that dog hates you.
That's pitiful, isn't it?
Perfectly good Doberman, mean as hell...
ruined.
You seem full of piss and vinegar today.
I was talking to Toby.
She said you were turning over a new leaf.
You spoke to Toby?
Yeah.
I didn't have the heart to remind her
who she was talking about.
You... you talked to my wife?
Well, forget about it.
She's probably just telling people she likes.
Don't tell me she's pregnant.
Knocked up like a cheerleader.
Eh, I suppose now you're going to want to be godfather.
Hey... I can't be the father and the godfather.
You got to goddamn do something.
Great white hunter make baby.
Hah!
Well, big guy,
down to some business, here.
I understand you got this Victorian
- that you're going to remodel. - No way.
It'll give us six months work...
- most of it indoors. - Forget about it.
I got my son to worry about now.
Don't even waste your breath, Sully.
Victorian house is a big job.
I need guys with two good knees
and at least a half a brain between them.
Guy with half a brain wouldn't work for you.
Drop it.
I should've known better than to bring it up to someone like you.
Come on, hotshot.
That rattrap of yours still standing over on Bowdin?
Why?
Come on.
Let's go take a look at it.
I got an idea I want to talk to you about.
Breaks your heart, doesn't it?
You know who he reminds me of?
You.
Yeah, he is pretty well hung at that.
Stay down here for a second, will you, Will?
Watch your step, Grandpop.
Hey, hey, Sully.
Hey, Sully, wait a minute.
Why don't you just break one of the windowpanes
and reach inside and unlock the door.
I know what I'm doing, okay?
Don't say a word.
Excuse me.
I don't know.
I may owe Rub an apology.
He may not be the dumbest man in Bath.
Goddamn, Sully, you could've saved this place.
Could've fixed it up a little bit, rented it out.
Hell, you could've sold it... put the money in your own pocket.
But you just let it rot.
Just so you could stick it to your old man, huh?
What's he been dead, 30, 35 years?
You still keeping score?
Well, here's the good news: You won.
This could be your crowning achievement, Sully.
All right, I'll make you a deal.
You sell me this flooring here, at a reasonable price,
and I'll let you and the other two stooges
work on the Victorian house.
Sully.
You okay?
Take it.
What?
Take it. Just...
Pull out whatever you want.
Give the money to Peter, okay?
Hey, where's that little kid?
Will?
You didn't think I forgot you, did you?
Huh?
Well, I... I didn't mean to.
You want to go inside
and see where I grew up?
You'd like it.
Okay, you decide.
You can come inside with me or...
or you can go back and see your dad.
Okay.
Okay, which?
Go see Dad.
Sure. Okay. Let's go.
Your dad's right over there, okay?
Hey.
It's okay.
You forgot him?
Well, it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes.
Yeah, well it probably seemed like longer to him.
Probably seemed like... forever to him.
You know, you... God, I should've known.
You're never going to change, are you?
I'd like to talk to Will.
I'd like to talk to my grandson.
Hey, hotshot.
Kind of messed up today, didn't I?
I mean, you were pretty scared, weren't you?
You know what I used to do
when I was your age and I got scared?
I'd try to be brave for exactly a minute,
and the next time,
I'd try to be brave for two minutes.
What were you scared of?
I don't remember, but, hey...
when you get to be my age, you won't remember either.
Here.
You can time yourself with it.
The big hand'll go around once... that'll be a minute.
Goes around again... that'll be two minutes.
Then you can tell how long you've been brave.
Here.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Can I ask you a question?
Why'd you do it...
walk out on us?
Oh... how the hell do I know?
It was, um...
a mistake.
Me and your mother was just a mistake.
What would you like me to say?
I was a rotten father?
Well, I wasn't around enough for that, remember?
Not around. Not ever.
Satisfied?
Well...
if you're not a father to me,
how come you're a grandfather to Will?
'Cause you got to start someplace.
You alive in there, old girl?
Didn't die in your sleep, di...
Well, what happened? What did he say?
If I tell you, will you promise not to tell my son about it?
No, I can't do that.
Well, then, I won't tell you.
Let's go.
No, I can do that.
All right, I won't tell him.
Now, what happened?
It was a stroke.
A what?
A stroke. Just a tiny one.
It's not uncommon in people of my age,
but he gave me medication, and he said if I'm careful,
there's no reason I shouldn't live for a long time.
I'm calling Clive Jr. Right now.
No, no, Donald, you promised.
He's your son. He's got a right.
Donald.
If you tell Clive about this, he'll put me in a rest home,
and there'll be nothing I can do about it.
You know I'm right about that.
And if he did...
I don't think I could bear it.
Okay, but, uh...
you're going to...
need someone who can really look after you.
I have someone to look after me.
No, no, I don't think so.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?
What, the trifecta?
Yes. Has it ever come in?
Not yet.
But you still bet on it.
Well, sure, I mean,
the odds have got to kick in sooner or later.
Fine... that's exactly the way I feel about you.
Now, will you please
drive me home?
Thank you, Donald.
Wish you hadn't told me those were rats down there.
Know what else I wish?
What?
I wish some big old company would moved to town,
pay us a lot of money.
We could work indoors.
No more Carl Roebuck.
Know what I really wish?
I really wish Peter'd quit calling me "Sancho."
I hate that name.
Fact is, I wish Peter'd just flat go away.
What?
I said, I wish Peter'd go on back to his own home.
I liked it better when it was just the two of us.
I hate it the way you talk to him all the time.
You know, used to be you and me'd go places together.
Now he's always there.
He's my son.
Shh. He's coming.
Hey, Sancho.
See what I mean?
- Any luck? - Yeah.
I think I found a place.
- Hey. - What place?
Two bedroom apartment for me and Will.
It's in a nice neighborhood,
rent's not too bad.
You mean, you're... you're going to stay?
Yeah. Pretty much made up my mind.
He's going to... stay here, work with us from now on?
Looks like it.
Well, wh...
there's not enough work for the three of us.
Why don't you let me worry about that.
Well, I don't like it.
You don't have to like it.
Hey, Sully, could I have a beer?
What are you asking me for?
'Cause you're the boss.
Ask him.
He bought the beer.
Here you go, Sancho.
Hey, where you going?
I quit.
Rub!
Shit. Oh...
Come on back here.
Dad... Dad, you're driving on the sidewalk.
Relax.
Look at that.
You ever seen anybody that stubborn?
Yes, I have.
Can't figure it out.
All he's got to do
is duck behind something and we're screwed.
Oh, I'd have to say we're screwed anyhow.
Sully, you're on the sidewalk!
Up yours, Raymer.
That's not a good place to park,
Raymer.
Enough!
Get out of the truck now, Sully!
Fun's over... I'm going to have
to put you under arrest.
This is where a smart guy would get out of the truck.
- Come on, Dad. - Suit yourself.
Halt!
Jesus, Dad!
He'll never use it.
Did he shoot?
I believe that was a gunshot, yes.
I vote we surrender, if I have a vote.
You stupid prick.
Well?
Nothing.
Good.
For a moment there, I thought you were going to be critical.
Haven't I been warning you about something like this?
Clive...
Haven't I? The man's a lunatic.
I'm sure there's an explanation.
What explanation can there be for attacking a policeman?
I suppose I should be grateful he didn't go berserk right here
in this house.
I want Donald Sullivan out of here,
and I want him out of here now.
And if you won't do it,
I will.
Hmm... I hate to say it,
but for once in his life, The Bank is right.
I screwed up.
Looks like I'll be spending a...
a little vacation at the County's expense,
so you'd better get yourself another tenant.
I don't want another tenant.
I've enjoyed your company.
Face it, Beryl, I'm the wrong man for the job.
Maybe it'll teach us both
not to bet on long shots.
What do you think?
Sure doesn't feel like Christmas.
Get Rub to help you with the floors.
Don't forget.
Okay.
You can always get him down at the diner, you know.
Right.
You know how to use a circular saw?
Better than you.
I doubt it.
How long do you think it'll take you to finish?
Couple of days.
Hmm. Well, get Rub...
Get Rub to help.
Did I give you the keys to the Ford?
About an hour and a half ago.
Well, if you get any trouble with it,
just take it down to the Texaco station.
There's a guy down there by the name of Harold.
He's the owner.
Just tell him you're my son.
Right. You run into problems, drop your old man's name.
Watch the doors fly open.
Can't believe it's going to take you that long
to get me out of jail.
Don't blame me... I'm a Jew.
These aren't my holidays.
A Jew... really?
I didn't know that.
How come you ain't smart?
How can I start getting you out of jail
when you won't go in?
Got a point.
A condemned man gets a last wish, right?
I got my truck out back.
How 'bout you and me go out there and get ourselves naked
and then just see what happens?
Okay.
Haven't you got any pride?
Go to jail, Sully.
It's where you belong.
Look, your kid's asleep.
I haven't seen him like this since he was six months old.
Touching, isn't it?
Breaks your heart.
Wake up.
Oh, God...
let's get out of here.
- Get the check, will you? - I'll pay your check.
You okay?
Yeah.
Wirf will have you out of there in a couple of days.
Ralph's been a good father to you, you know?
Yes, he has.
You turned out all right.
So did you.
Want to hear something funny?
I never told anybody this before.
After I got out of the Army,
I went to college for about six months.
I really liked it.
Why did you quit?
I said I liked it... I didn't say I belonged there.
Well, where do you belong, Dad?
Right there.
For tonight, anyway.
Want me to go in there with you?
Nope.
Good.
Well, I'll be out before you know it.
Hey!
Look after Wirf, will you?
And Miss Beryl?
Right.
Oh...
Take care of Rub's jelly donuts.
It's not going to be easy being you, is it?
Don't expect too much
of yourself at the beginning.
I couldn't do everything at first, either.
But you gave me your word.
People here are counting on you.
I'm counting on you.
Mr. Peoples, did we sign any papers?
Now, listen, this is nothing personal.
I know how much you good people wanted this thing to happen,
but it's flat out not going to work.
Why?
Well, the fact is we crunched the numbers,
and they didn't add up.
But you don't understand.
These people bought a thousand acres
of depressed real estate because of you.
Oh, you got that wrong, Clive.
Those people bought that land because of you.
You promised that this was a sure thing.
Well, we were a teeny bit wrong about that, wasn't we?
But...
It's been good talking to you. Nighty-night.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Peoples.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks, Ollie.
God, I love small towns.
Where else in the world
would they let a guy out of jail for three hours
just to serve as a pall bearer?
Yeah.
Been arraigned yet?
No... this afternoon.
How you going to plead?
Temporary insanity.
We're going to say that those pills you gave me
made me absolutely nuts.
All right, girls, we're on.
All right, here we go.
One, two, three.
Well, you must be feeling great.
Well, why should I be feeling great... I'm in jail.
Truck's falling apart...
I haven't got 40 bucks to my name.
Yeah, but the trifecta
you've been betting for ten years finally hit.
Hey, be careful!
My trifecta?
Yeah.
You mean, the one I've been betting every day?
It hit two days ago.
Well, I was in jail. I didn't bet it.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
Now do you believe in luck?
Luck had nothing to do with you being in jail.
Did you hear about Clive Jr.?
No, what?
He skipped town.
- Hey! - Oh, ho...
Mr. Sullivan, have a little respect.
What?
The money for the theme park folded.
Bank's stuck with all that worthless land.
So he disappeared.
Well, what about Miss Beryl?
Not great.
Boy...
Guy goes to jail for a couple of days...
the whole town goes to hell.
Sully?
Yeah, Ralph?
Listen, remember that snowblower you gave me?
Yeah?
Well, somebody stole it last night...
right out of the garage.
I... I covered it with a tarp just the way you told me...
Don't worry about it.
I know exactly where to find it.
Never in a million years.
Well... here we are again, Mr. Sullivan.
How's your knee?
Rotten.
Your Honor.
Well, it doesn't seem
to slow you down much.
Doesn't keep you from punching out policemen or anything.
Your Honor...
Mr. Wirfley, don't.
There are times when less is more,
and this is one of them.
Now, then...
How are you doing, Wyatt Earp?
Your Honor...
Same advice:
"Less is more."
Tell me, what do you usually do
when somebody throws a punch at you?
Duck.
Next time, do that.
Now, is it true that you discharged your weapon, Officer?
Your Honor, it was a warning shot.
Mm-hmm. You know who you warned?
A little old lady sitting on her commode
two blocks away.
Ollie...
you know my feelings about arming morons.
You arm one, you've got to arm them all,
otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.
Your Honor, Officer Raymer is currently under suspension.
Anesthesia is what he should be under.
Your Honor!
I'd just like to say, and what's this country coming to...
Raymer, shut the fuck up.
Boy, I wouldn't sit here too long.
Tip of your dick'll freeze to the top of the step.
Oh, I forgot... yours ain't that long.
Yours ain't either.
It's 'cause I fold it.
Want to know how many times I fold it?
It would hurt if you folded it.
Not mine.
Know what I wish?
No. What do you wish?
I wish we were still friends.
We are, Rub.
You know what I wish?
I wish we'd get off our asses.
Let's go down to The Horse and place some poker.
What do you think?
Wha-what about...
Peter?
Hey, look at me.
Peter's my son...
and you're my best friend, okay?
Ah...
you're not going to start crying, are you?
I should've stayed in jail.
I can bet 40.
Oh, boy.
I'm in.
I don't want to be in, but I'm in.
Okay, sucker.
I'll see you...
and...
I'll raise you.
He's bluffing.
Goddamn it, Birdy, close the door.
I'm sitting here naked.
Then you should play better poker.
Jocko.
He's in.
Oh, thank you, Birdy.
Mm-hmm.
Don't show him your cards, Rub.
I call.
Ace-high flush.
Read 'em and weep, guys.
Queens full.
Why not?
Damn, why shouldn't this be the night
I lose every goddamn hand in the game.
Goddamn theme park goes down the tubes...
I'm stuck with 14 crappy, half-built houses
I'm never going to be able to unload...
and on top of all of it,
for some reason Toby has taken exception
with my new secretary.
Whose gun is that?
It's yours, bonehead. It was your ante.
Hell, I should've busted this game two hours ago.
All right.
The game is seven card stud.
One-eyed jacks and suicide kings are wild.
Oh, come on, Jocko.
What are all these wild cards?
Can we just play a normal game of poker?
How come she's staring at me like that?
Because you're a good-looking guy, Rub.
Am not.
Sure, you are.
Carl, is he a good-looking guy?
He is at that.
Oh.
Sully, you might want to drop by the Bowdin Street house
on the way home.
- Oh, something wrong? - No, nothing's wrong.
I left you a little something over there.
Spirit of the season, so to speak.
- Jocko. - Hmm?
You got any of those yellow doozies around?
Why, is your leg worse?
No.
They're for Carl.
Oh, my God.
Here.
Two tickets... Hawaii. You and me.
Toby...
There's a perfectly logical explanation for this.
There is?
Well?
Hawaii?
No bullshit?
No bullshit.
Goddamn, Sully,
when your luck turns...
it turns.
Luck has nothing to do with this.
I'll have to get a new bathing suit.
The place we're going, you won't need anything.
I have enough coconut oil for both of us.
I do you, and you do me.
Yeah, that's the general idea.
Oh, for God's sake, Toby... you're pregnant.
You can be the godfather.
Shut up, Sully!
Sunny skies.
Sandy beaches.
No more snow, no more broken-down pickup truck.
Oh, yeah.
Damn, Carl, you going to let him
get away with that?
Aw, don't worry about it, Ollie.
He'll never go through with it.
You want to bet?
Cash me in, guys.
Oh, I'll bet.
I'll bet you make it
about as far as the plane out of spite.
But then you know what's going to happen, Sully?
Somewhere over Kansas,
Toby's going to start crying,
and as your ex-wife can tell you, Sully,
you don't handle that shit very well.
Rub...
in about a minute, that poor son of a bitch
is going to realize
he's made the biggest mistake of his life.
He tries to follow us, shoot him.
Sully.
You got something to say?
No.
Fine.
- Toby... - No, don't.
Please, don't.
I want to thank you for thinking of me.
Yeah.
I, uh...
You know, until a while ago,
I could've...
but...
I just found out I'm somebody's grandfather.
I'm somebody's father, and...
and maybe...
I'm somebody's friend in the bargain.
So...
Yeah...
you are a man among men.
I know, it's not a compliment.
No, this time it is.
How come you're always wrong about everything?
Mmm...
You are...
the best...
Iooking woman in Bath, and...
you're going to be
the best-looking woman in Hawaii.
You're going to be fine.
Thanks.
We would've been terrific together.
Yeah, I think so.
Don't tell me they actually let you out of jail.
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
I took Will over
to the new apartment, so he could see his room.
He liked it.
We were on our way back to Mom's.
I saw your truck outside.
Happy New Year.
It's a day or two early, but... hey, I got faith.
Thank you.
To the good life.
You call this the good life?
Sure looks like it from where I stand.
It occurs to me I forgot to give you
your Christmas present.
Call your wife.
Telephone's right there.
You don't understand...
Do it.
Hi, it's me.
Yeah.
I... I know.
Hey... don't cry.
Dad... I can handle this part myself.
You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?
You don't need a leg... you need a parrot.
Should we give him back his leg?
You want to take it to him?
It's not alive... it ain't gonna bite you.
You still got that stopwatch?
Want to see if it works?
Come on.
You think...?
Thank you.
Will... your mom wants to talk to you.
Mom?
Dick.
You know, I think I'm getting
too old for this job.
How come?
You're starting to look good to me.
I do that... I grow on people.
Sommelier, encore, s'il vous plaît.
Listen, I need a favor.
I'm serious about this.
It's your landlady.
She's done something for you.
What?
You own the house on Bowdin again.
She paid the back taxes.
And you let her?
I encouraged her.
Fine! She paid the taxes; she owns it.
I told you I didn't want anything to do with that place.
This isn't about what you want.
I don't give a damn what you want.
This is about need.
Clive Jr.'s gone; he's not coming back.
Now, this is the favor:
When she tells you...
be grateful.
Make her feel good.
Is that too much to ask?
Sully, either you do this, or... I'm off of you for life.
I mean it.
Dad?
Dad.
Yeah?
Could you and Rub spare me for a couple days?
Well, Rub sure could.
How 'bout you?
Okay.
Uh... could be more than a couple days.
Well, you run into problems,
just think what I would do, and then...
Do the opposite.
I'll remember that.
Oh. Almost forgot.
What's that?
Here. What do you think it is?
It's a trifecta ticket.
The trifecta ticket?
The one that hit?
How much?
5,800 bucks.
And you bet it?
You told me to, remember?
Right before you went to jail.
Oh, wow.
How about that?
Intelligence, hard work and good looks finally pay off.
And to think we were here to see it.
Wow.
Hey, try anything and you'll regret it!
Oh, no... not a chance.
Oh...!
Who are you?
I fixed the railing on the porch.
Can I come in and pull my boots off?
Of course, Donald.
Looks like you're the only one in town who'll have me.
I hope you didn't... rent my room out from underneath me.
Not yet.
By the way, what's your policy on pets?
I'm not sure.
Well... we'll come up with something.
I'm going to have a cup of tea.
Would you like one?
No. Not now, not ever.
I'm sorry about Clive Jr.
Thank you, Donald.
I keep thinking I failed him in some way.
At least you raised him.
That's more than I can say.
There's a rumor around town that you did a good deed.
You stuck your nose where it didn't belong.
I know it.
I'm an old woman, though; I'm entitled.
Well, you're forgiven.
Thank you.
Are you sure I can't interest you in a cup of tea?
No, and how many times do I have to tell you?
Other people change their minds occasionally.
I keep thinking you might.
You do?
Huh.
You may as well come in, too.
You spoke to Toby?
Yeah.
I didn't have the heart to remind her
who she was talking about.
You... you talked to my wife?
Well, forget about it.
She's probably just telling people she likes.
Don't tell me she's pregnant.
Knocked up like a cheerleader.
Eh, I suppose now you're going to want to be godfather.
Hey... I can't be the father and the godfather.
You got to goddamn do something.
Great white hunter make baby.
Hah!
Well, big guy,
down to some business, here.
I understand you got this Victorian
- that you're going to remodel. - No way.
It'll give us six months work...
- most of it indoors. - Forget about it.
I got my son to worry about now.
Don't even waste your breath, Sully.
Victorian house is a big job.
I need guys with two good knees
and at least a half a brain between them.
Guy with half a brain wouldn't work for you.
Drop it.
I should've known better than to bring it up to someone like you.
Come on, hotshot.
That rattrap of yours still standing over on Bowdin?
Why?
Come on.
Let's go take a look at it.
I got an idea I want to talk to you about.
Breaks your heart, doesn't it?
You know who he reminds me of?
You.
Yeah, he is pretty well hung at that.
Stay down here for a second, will you, Will?
Watch your step, Grandpop.
Hey, hey, Sully.
Hey, Sully, wait a minute.
Why don't you just break one of the windowpanes
and reach inside and unlock the door.
I know what I'm doing, okay?
Don't say a word.
Excuse me.
I don't know.
I may owe Rub an apology.
He may not be the dumbest man in Bath.
Goddamn, Sully, you could've saved this place.
Could've fixed it up a little bit, rented it out.
Hell, you could've sold it... put the money in your own pocket.
But you just let it rot.
Just so you could stick it to your old man, huh?
What's he been dead, 30, 35 years?
You still keeping score?
Well, here's the good news: You won.
This could be your crowning achievement, Sully.
All right, I'll make you a deal.
You sell me this flooring here, at a reasonable price,
and I'll let you and the other two stooges
work on the Victorian house.
Sully.
You okay?
Take it.
What?
Take it. Just...
Pull out whatever you want.
Give the money to Peter, okay?
Hey, where's that little kid?
Will?
You didn't think I forgot you, did you?
Huh?
Well, I... I didn't mean to.
You want to go inside
and see where I grew up?
You'd like it.
Okay, you decide.
You can come inside with me or...
or you can go back and see your dad.
Okay.
Okay, which?
Go see Dad.
Sure. Okay. Let's go.
Your dad's right over there, okay?
Hey.
It's okay.
You forgot him?
Well, it couldn't have been more than a couple of minutes.
Yeah, well it probably seemed like longer to him.
Probably seemed like... forever to him.
You know, you... God, I should've known.
You're never going to change, are you?
I'd like to talk to Will.
I'd like to talk to my grandson.
Hey, hotshot.
Kind of messed up today, didn't I?
I mean, you were pretty scared, weren't you?
You know what I used to do
when I was your age and I got scared?
I'd try to be brave for exactly a minute,
and the next time,
I'd try to be brave for two minutes.
What were you scared of?
I don't remember, but, hey...
when you get to be my age, you won't remember either.
Here.
You can time yourself with it.
The big hand'll go around once... that'll be a minute.
Goes around again... that'll be two minutes.
Then you can tell how long you've been brave.
Here.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Can I ask you a question?
Why'd you do it...
walk out on us?
Oh... how the hell do I know?
It was, um...
a mistake.
Me and your mother was just a mistake.
What would you like me to say?
I was a rotten father?
Well, I wasn't around enough for that, remember?
Not around. Not ever.
Satisfied?
Well...
if you're not a father to me,
how come you're a grandfather to Will?
'Cause you got to start someplace.
You alive in there, old girl?
Didn't die in your sleep, di...
Well, what happened? What did he say?
If I tell you, will you promise not to tell my son about it?
No, I can't do that.
Well, then, I won't tell you.
Let's go.
No, I can do that.
All right, I won't tell him.
Now, what happened?
It was a stroke.
A what?
A stroke. Just a tiny one.
It's not uncommon in people of my age,
but he gave me medication, and he said if I'm careful,
there's no reason I shouldn't live for a long time.
I'm calling Clive Jr. Right now.
No, no, Donald, you promised.
He's your son. He's got a right.
Donald.
If you tell Clive about this, he'll put me in a rest home,
and there'll be nothing I can do about it.
You know I'm right about that.
And if he did...
I don't think I could bear it.
Okay, but, uh...
you're going to...
need someone who can really look after you.
I have someone to look after me.
No, no, I don't think so.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Do you still bet on that horse race of yours?
What, the trifecta?
Yes. Has it ever come in?
Not yet.
But you still bet on it.
Well, sure, I mean,
the odds have got to kick in sooner or later.
Fine... that's exactly the way I feel about you.
Now, will you please
drive me home?
Thank you, Donald.
Wish you hadn't told me those were rats down there.
Know what else I wish?
What?
I wish some big old company would moved to town,
pay us a lot of money.
We could work indoors.
No more Carl Roebuck.
Know what I really wish?
I really wish Peter'd quit calling me "Sancho."
I hate that name.
Fact is, I wish Peter'd just flat go away.
What?
I said, I wish Peter'd go on back to his own home.
I liked it better when it was just the two of us.
I hate it the way you talk to him all the time.
You know, used to be you and me'd go places together.
Now he's always there.
He's my son.
Shh. He's coming.
Hey, Sancho.
See what I mean?
- Any luck? - Yeah.
I think I found a place.
- Hey. - What place?
Two bedroom apartment for me and Will.
It's in a nice neighborhood,
rent's not too bad.
You mean, you're... you're going to stay?
Yeah. Pretty much made up my mind.
He's going to... stay here, work with us from now on?
Looks like it.
Well, wh...
there's not enough work for the three of us.
Why don't you let me worry about that.
Well, I don't like it.
You don't have to like it.
Hey, Sully, could I have a beer?
What are you asking me for?
'Cause you're the boss.
Ask him.
He bought the beer.
Here you go, Sancho.
Hey, where you going?
I quit.
Rub!
Shit. Oh...
Come on back here.
Dad... Dad, you're driving on the sidewalk.
Relax.
Look at that.
You ever seen anybody that stubborn?
Yes, I have.
Can't figure it out.
All he's got to do
is duck behind something and we're screwed.
Oh, I'd have to say we're screwed anyhow.
Sully, you're on the sidewalk!
Up yours, Raymer.
That's not a good place to park,
Raymer.
Enough!
Get out of the truck now, Sully!
Fun's over... I'm going to have
to put you under arrest.
This is where a smart guy would get out of the truck.
- Come on, Dad. - Suit yourself.
Halt!
Jesus, Dad!
He'll never use it.
Did he shoot?
I believe that was a gunshot, yes.
I vote we surrender, if I have a vote.
You stupid prick.
Well?
Nothing.
Good.
For a moment there, I thought you were going to be critical.
Haven't I been warning you about something like this?
Clive...
Haven't I? The man's a lunatic.
I'm sure there's an explanation.
What explanation can there be for attacking a policeman?
I suppose I should be grateful he didn't go berserk right here
in this house.
I want Donald Sullivan out of here,
and I want him out of here now.
And if you won't do it,
I will.
Hmm... I hate to say it,
but for once in his life, The Bank is right.
I screwed up.
Looks like I'll be spending a...
a little vacation at the County's expense,
so you'd better get yourself another tenant.
I don't want another tenant.
I've enjoyed your company.
Face it, Beryl, I'm the wrong man for the job.
Maybe it'll teach us both
not to bet on long shots.
What do you think?
Sure doesn't feel like Christmas.
Get Rub to help you with the floors.
Don't forget.
Okay.
You can always get him down at the diner, you know.
Right.
You know how to use a circular saw?
Better than you.
I doubt it.
How long do you think it'll take you to finish?
Couple of days.
Hmm. Well, get Rub...
Get Rub to help.
Did I give you the keys to the Ford?
About an hour and a half ago.
Well, if you get any trouble with it,
just take it down to the Texaco station.
There's a guy down there by the name of Harold.
He's the owner.
Just tell him you're my son.
Right. You run into problems, drop your old man's name.
Watch the doors fly open.
Can't believe it's going to take you that long
to get me out of jail.
Don't blame me... I'm a Jew.
These aren't my holidays.
A Jew... really?
I didn't know that.
How come you ain't smart?
How can I start getting you out of jail
when you won't go in?
Got a point.
A condemned man gets a last wish, right?
I got my truck out back.
How 'bout you and me go out there and get ourselves naked
and then just see what happens?
Okay.
Haven't you got any pride?
Go to jail, Sully.
It's where you belong.
Look, your kid's asleep.
I haven't seen him like this since he was six months old.
Touching, isn't it?
Breaks your heart.
Wake up.
Oh, God...
let's get out of here.
- Get the check, will you? - I'll pay your check.
You okay?
Yeah.
Wirf will have you out of there in a couple of days.
Ralph's been a good father to you, you know?
Yes, he has.
You turned out all right.
So did you.
Want to hear something funny?
I never told anybody this before.
After I got out of the Army,
I went to college for about six months.
I really liked it.
Why did you quit?
I said I liked it... I didn't say I belonged there.
Well, where do you belong, Dad?
Right there.
For tonight, anyway.
Want me to go in there with you?
Nope.
Good.
Well, I'll be out before you know it.
Hey!
Look after Wirf, will you?
And Miss Beryl?
Right.
Oh...
Take care of Rub's jelly donuts.
It's not going to be easy being you, is it?
Don't expect too much
of yourself at the beginning.
I couldn't do everything at first, either.
But you gave me your word.
People here are counting on you.
I'm counting on you.
Mr. Peoples, did we sign any papers?
Now, listen, this is nothing personal.
I know how much you good people wanted this thing to happen,
but it's flat out not going to work.
Why?
Well, the fact is we crunched the numbers,
and they didn't add up.
But you don't understand.
These people bought a thousand acres
of depressed real estate because of you.
Oh, you got that wrong, Clive.
Those people bought that land because of you.
You promised that this was a sure thing.
Well, we were a teeny bit wrong about that, wasn't we?
But...
It's been good talking to you. Nighty-night.
Merry Christmas, Mr. Peoples.
Merry Christmas.
Thanks, Ollie.
God, I love small towns.
Where else in the world
would they let a guy out of jail for three hours
just to serve as a pall bearer?
Yeah.
Been arraigned yet?
No... this afternoon.
How you going to plead?
Temporary insanity.
We're going to say that those pills you gave me
made me absolutely nuts.
All right, girls, we're on.
All right, here we go.
One, two, three.
Well, you must be feeling great.
Well, why should I be feeling great... I'm in jail.
Truck's falling apart...
I haven't got 40 bucks to my name.
Yeah, but the trifecta
you've been betting for ten years finally hit.
Hey, be careful!
My trifecta?
Yeah.
You mean, the one I've been betting every day?
It hit two days ago.
Well, I was in jail. I didn't bet it.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?
Now do you believe in luck?
Luck had nothing to do with you being in jail.
Did you hear about Clive Jr.?
No, what?
He skipped town.
- Hey! - Oh, ho...
Mr. Sullivan, have a little respect.
What?
The money for the theme park folded.
Bank's stuck with all that worthless land.
So he disappeared.
Well, what about Miss Beryl?
Not great.
Boy...
Guy goes to jail for a couple of days...
the whole town goes to hell.
Sully?
Yeah, Ralph?
Listen, remember that snowblower you gave me?
Yeah?
Well, somebody stole it last night...
right out of the garage.
I... I covered it with a tarp just the way you told me...
Don't worry about it.
I know exactly where to find it.
Never in a million years.
Well... here we are again, Mr. Sullivan.
How's your knee?
Rotten.
Your Honor.
Well, it doesn't seem
to slow you down much.
Doesn't keep you from punching out policemen or anything.
Your Honor...
Mr. Wirfley, don't.
There are times when less is more,
and this is one of them.
Now, then...
How are you doing, Wyatt Earp?
Your Honor...
Same advice:
"Less is more."
Tell me, what do you usually do
when somebody throws a punch at you?
Duck.
Next time, do that.
Now, is it true that you discharged your weapon, Officer?
Your Honor, it was a warning shot.
Mm-hmm. You know who you warned?
A little old lady sitting on her commode
two blocks away.
Ollie...
you know my feelings about arming morons.
You arm one, you've got to arm them all,
otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.
Your Honor, Officer Raymer is currently under suspension.
Anesthesia is what he should be under.
Your Honor!
I'd just like to say, and what's this country coming to...
Raymer, shut the fuck up.
Boy, I wouldn't sit here too long.
Tip of your dick'll freeze to the top of the step.
Oh, I forgot... yours ain't that long.
Yours ain't either.
It's 'cause I fold it.
Want to know how many times I fold it?
It would hurt if you folded it.
Not mine.
Know what I wish?
No. What do you wish?
I wish we were still friends.
We are, Rub.
You know what I wish?
I wish we'd get off our asses.
Let's go down to The Horse and place some poker.
What do you think?
Wha-what about...
Peter?
Hey, look at me.
Peter's my son...
and you're my best friend, okay?
Ah...
you're not going to start crying, are you?
I should've stayed in jail.
I can bet 40.
Oh, boy.
I'm in.
I don't want to be in, but I'm in.
Okay, sucker.
I'll see you...
and...
I'll raise you.
He's bluffing.
Goddamn it, Birdy, close the door.
I'm sitting here naked.
Then you should play better poker.
Jocko.
He's in.
Oh, thank you, Birdy.
Mm-hmm.
Don't show him your cards, Rub.
I call.
Ace-high flush.
Read 'em and weep, guys.
Queens full.
Why not?
Damn, why shouldn't this be the night
I lose every goddamn hand in the game.
Goddamn theme park goes down the tubes...
I'm stuck with 14 crappy, half-built houses
I'm never going to be able to unload...
and on top of all of it,
for some reason Toby has taken exception
with my new secretary.
Whose gun is that?
It's yours, bonehead. It was your ante.
Hell, I should've busted this game two hours ago.
All right.
The game is seven card stud.
One-eyed jacks and suicide kings are wild.
Oh, come on, Jocko.
What are all these wild cards?
Can we just play a normal game of poker?
How come she's staring at me like that?
Because you're a good-looking guy, Rub.
Am not.
Sure, you are.
Carl, is he a good-looking guy?
He is at that.
Oh.
Sully, you might want to drop by the Bowdin Street house
on the way home.
- Oh, something wrong? - No, nothing's wrong.
I left you a little something over there.
Spirit of the season, so to speak.
- Jocko. - Hmm?
You got any of those yellow doozies around?
Why, is your leg worse?
No.
They're for Carl.
Oh, my God.
Here.
Two tickets... Hawaii. You and me.
Toby...
There's a perfectly logical explanation for this.
There is?
Well?
Hawaii?
No bullshit?
No bullshit.
Goddamn, Sully,
when your luck turns...
it turns.
Luck has nothing to do with this.
I'll have to get a new bathing suit.
The place we're going, you won't need anything.
I have enough coconut oil for both of us.
I do you, and you do me.
Yeah, that's the general idea.
Oh, for God's sake, Toby... you're pregnant.
You can be the godfather.
Shut up, Sully!
Sunny skies.
Sandy beaches.
No more snow, no more broken-down pickup truck.
Oh, yeah.
Damn, Carl, you going to let him
get away with that?
Aw, don't worry about it, Ollie.
He'll never go through with it.
You want to bet?
Cash me in, guys.
Oh, I'll bet.
I'll bet you make it
about as far as the plane out of spite.
But then you know what's going to happen, Sully?
Somewhere over Kansas,
Toby's going to start crying,
and as your ex-wife can tell you, Sully,
you don't handle that shit very well.
Rub...
in about a minute, that poor son of a bitch
is going to realize
he's made the biggest mistake of his life.
He tries to follow us, shoot him.
Sully.
You got something to say?
No.
Fine.
- Toby... - No, don't.
Please, don't.
I want to thank you for thinking of me.
Yeah.
I, uh...
You know, until a while ago,
I could've...
but...
I just found out I'm somebody's grandfather.
I'm somebody's father, and...
and maybe...
I'm somebody's friend in the bargain.
So...
Yeah...
you are a man among men.
I know, it's not a compliment.
No, this time it is.
How come you're always wrong about everything?
Mmm...
You are...
the best...
Iooking woman in Bath, and...
you're going to be
the best-looking woman in Hawaii.
You're going to be fine.
Thanks.
We would've been terrific together.
Yeah, I think so.
Don't tell me they actually let you out of jail.
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
I took Will over
to the new apartment, so he could see his room.
He liked it.
We were on our way back to Mom's.
I saw your truck outside.
Happy New Year.
It's a day or two early, but... hey, I got faith.
Thank you.
To the good life.
You call this the good life?
Sure looks like it from where I stand.
It occurs to me I forgot to give you
your Christmas present.
Call your wife.
Telephone's right there.
You don't understand...
Do it.
Hi, it's me.
Yeah.
I... I know.
Hey... don't cry.
Dad... I can handle this part myself.
You'd keep my leg, wouldn't you?
You don't need a leg... you need a parrot.
Should we give him back his leg?
You want to take it to him?
It's not alive... it ain't gonna bite you.
You still got that stopwatch?
Want to see if it works?
Come on.
You think...?
Thank you.
Will... your mom wants to talk to you.
Mom?
Dick.
You know, I think I'm getting
too old for this job.
How come?
You're starting to look good to me.
I do that... I grow on people.
Sommelier, encore, s'il vous plaît.
Listen, I need a favor.
I'm serious about this.
It's your landlady.
She's done something for you.
What?
You own the house on Bowdin again.
She paid the back taxes.
And you let her?
I encouraged her.
Fine! She paid the taxes; she owns it.
I told you I didn't want anything to do with that place.
This isn't about what you want.
I don't give a damn what you want.
This is about need.
Clive Jr.'s gone; he's not coming back.
Now, this is the favor:
When she tells you...
be grateful.
Make her feel good.
Is that too much to ask?
Sully, either you do this, or... I'm off of you for life.
I mean it.
Dad?
Dad.
Yeah?
Could you and Rub spare me for a couple days?
Well, Rub sure could.
How 'bout you?
Okay.
Uh... could be more than a couple days.
Well, you run into problems,
just think what I would do, and then...
Do the opposite.
I'll remember that.
Oh. Almost forgot.
What's that?
Here. What do you think it is?
It's a trifecta ticket.
The trifecta ticket?
The one that hit?
How much?
5,800 bucks.
And you bet it?
You told me to, remember?
Right before you went to jail.
Oh, wow.
How about that?
Intelligence, hard work and good looks finally pay off.
And to think we were here to see it.
Wow.
Hey, try anything and you'll regret it!
Oh, no... not a chance.
Oh...!
Who are you?
I fixed the railing on the porch.
Can I come in and pull my boots off?
Of course, Donald.
Looks like you're the only one in town who'll have me.
I hope you didn't... rent my room out from underneath me.
Not yet.
By the way, what's your policy on pets?
I'm not sure.
Well... we'll come up with something.
I'm going to have a cup of tea.
Would you like one?
No. Not now, not ever.
I'm sorry about Clive Jr.
Thank you, Donald.
I keep thinking I failed him in some way.
At least you raised him.
That's more than I can say.
There's a rumor around town that you did a good deed.
You stuck your nose where it didn't belong.
I know it.
I'm an old woman, though; I'm entitled.
Well, you're forgiven.
Thank you.
Are you sure I can't interest you in a cup of tea?
No, and how many times do I have to tell you?
Other people change their minds occasionally.
I keep thinking you might.
You do?
Huh.
You may as well come in, too.